I’ll admit it. The majority of what I write about Daniel does have a tendency to show his “decent side.” I don’t do that to sway anyone’s opinions about him. I’m just writing about my own personal interactions.
That doesn’t mean that I’m blind to his possible dark side. It’s not a side I personally see, but I’m cautiously aware that it may exist. I probably even unconsciously look for it. Normally I don’t go searching for faults in my friends. Most of us let the negative things slide when we like someone.
Unfortunately, I can’t just see Daniel as a regular guy. There are aspects of his personality that I’d likely ignore in one of my “free friends,” but Daniel doesn’t get the benefit of the doubt for anything, does he?
Here is what I can’t forget or ignore:
He’s cocky: Orange County theatre is rife with cocky actors, but it bothers me when Daniel lets the world see this side of him—especially in court! The man cheerfully bounces into the courtroom. He even sometimes smirks or scoffs at some of the proceedings. Keep in mind that there are plenty of laughable comments being made, but he’s not allowed to react to them. I’m guessing he believes that people will hate him no matter how he behaves. I still think it makes a difference.
He’s vague: OK, I can’t actually hold that one against him. There is no blogger/blogee privilege. Still, it’s nerve-wracking to converse with someone who has to be so careful about everything he says. It limits a person’s abilities to trust and connect.
He can appear to be insensitive: Whether he’s guilty or not, he should respect the pain felt by the victims’ families. He doesn’t come off as empathetic, even though I think he is very much so. This case has been going on for over five years now, and Daniel is being scrutinized… constantly… by everyone. Maybe he’s just become numb to it all, but I don’t think the victims’ families would accept that as a reason for not showing sympathy.
His favorite band is The Dan Band: Yeah… his taste in music is limited to say the least. Also, he does like that his name is in the band’s name. ‘Nuff said.
He sometimes has that “smartest guy in the room” attitude: I will acknowledge that he is very smart. Of course, it wouldn’t be difficult to feel like a Mensa member where he’s living. He has learned a tremendous amount about the law during his incarceration and in another life, he might have made a great lawyer. But I worry that he might underestimate people sometimes. He has a lot of confidence in himself, but I’m not sure how he’s going to fare when dealing with the Orange County DA’s office.
He may have killed two people: I am not taking this lightly. The Daniel I know is a good guy. He’s kind and generous. He’s smart, funny, and an interesting conversationalist. I like that guy. But I don’t ever forget that he might be an actual murderer. I’m not talking about an accident… this isn’t just a bar fight gone horribly wrong. Daniel is accused of some sickening and inhuman acts. Did he kill a war veteran? Did he decapitate and dismember his body? Did he murder a completely unsuspecting and innocent young woman in order to frame the other victim? Did he do all these things just to steal money for a fancy wedding? I sure hope not. The questions are never far from my mind and sometimes I even feel a little guilty about that.
I’m sure there will be some readers who ask me why I even bother. No one is forcing me to have this relationship OR to write about it. But he’s interesting and obviously I like a lot about him too. It wasn’t in my original plan to have genuine friendship with Daniel, but I do now. And blog or no blog – that won’t change.