Tag: drug abuse

Getting to Know Him

March 2015

(Post Six)
Pat replied to my letter later that week.   Yes, I know being in jail does afford
him a fair amount of spare time, but I still appreciated the quick
response.   I could tell he was eager to
continue this relationship.Like when
you give a guy your number and he texts you right away.  It’s a nice feeling.

His letter was written in pencil in his very neat printing on six pages, double-sided,
on yellow legal pad paper.
I bet he’s not allowed to have pens! Pens can be taken
apart.  There are probably a lot of
things that you can make with pen parts.I should ask about that.

 

Pat’s Letter

Pat thanked me for writing to him again and said he’d try
to answer all my questions as honestly as possible.   He also asked for honesty in return.
But he didn’t say what he wanted me to be honest about.  Just that
“a foundation cannot be built on lies and/or distrust.”It makes me feel a little guilty about the
blog.   Does writing it make me
dishonest?

Pat told me he was happy to get my pictures and remembered
me “quite vividly.”  He said I “came across as a very easy-going genuinely nice person” (I think I
am a nice person.  Being remembered as
“hot” would be good, too).
“Freedom” was brought up again.  He’s tried to adapt to life behind bars;  he wants to use his time to help others any
way he can.
One point he has made hits me where I live. He feels like his years being incarcerated
have allowed him to strip away the false faces he used to wear.  In jail, he can be himself.
He wrote this letter to me at the end of September.  When he quoted Bill Cosby “I don’t know the key to success, but the
key to failure is trying to please everyone,” he had no idea that, ironically, Cosby would be all over the news in a couple months.  It’s still a pretty good quote, though.
Then Pat answered all the questions I’d asked! 

Pat’s Answers

 

  • The Drugs: Pat used Crystal, Heroin, Ecstasy and he mixed a lot of pills (so some serious perspective and reality altering kinds of drugs).
  • He defended himself against the accusation that he had massive financial problems and said he was only a month or 2 behind on rent. The media completely over-exaggerated his debt
  • Overcoming addiction is still an on-going battle (in other words – getting drugs behind bars isn’t too difficult).
  • He told me that I was the only person to ask him if he likes his lawyer. He seemed impressed by that. Pat has a Public Defender lawyer who he really likes his lawyer and he talked about fighting for the greater good…
Which now makes more
sense in the light of some major developments happening around Pat’s case in
the past month!  His lawyer is making
major waves about the DA’s Office infringing on the rights of inmates.Now, Pat is getting a new judge after 5
years.  Meaning this trial isn’t starting
any time soon.

 

  • Pat’s free time is spent meditating, reading, studying theology, yoga, working out, taking counseling correspondence classes (he wants to be a rehabilitation councilor for other inmates), Bible classes, watching sports on TV… He showers and visit his fellow inmates during his 1-2 hours outside of his cell.
  • He wrote that inmates share whatever books and magazines they get sent in.
  • Visits are always a surprise. They only get visits on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. They can only have one visit per day.
  • Pat’s visitors have included:
    • His parents – regularly
    • A few of his theatre friends
    • The parents of an old girlfriend
    • A Dateline Producer!!!!!
    • Writers from New York (hmm – I’m not worried)
    • The Vet’s father (The “Vet” is one of Pat’s alleged victims. So having the guy’s dad visit Pat in jail is pretty astonishing).
    • and now ME
  • He has NEVER been scared inside the jail. He’s a big guy (6’2” and 200 lbs) and he’s in jail for a big crime. He isn’t affiliated with any gangs and he tries to promote “an atmosphere of peace and unity.” It seems like Pat gets along well with the inmates and the guards. He’s personable. He has been depressed, but never afraid.
  • Answer about the quest for God was quite extensive, so I’ll summarize. He is interested in all religions and has studied with many religious and spiritual leaders. He quotes Gandhi “All religion is true. I just want to love God.” Pat believes there is one true God that created us all. He believes that Jesus died for our sins. Pat is a LOT more religious than I am.
Pat ended his letter by inviting me to write to him again
and to feel free to inquire more.He
thanked me for just treating him like a human being.  He lost a lot of friends when he was
arrested.  He knows and understands that
many people think he is an evil man.

I don’t.
Pat may be 100% guilty of this crime.  That doesn’t mean that this crime is 100% who he is.
He’s funny.  He’s
silly.  He’s geeky.  Hell, he might not even be a murderer (more
on that later).
A present was also enclosed for me.
My first drawing from Pat.
Awwww… right?

My Next Letter to Jail: Lots of Questions

February 2015

(Post Five)

It was time to write Pat another letter!

I picked out 3 different pictures of myself to send because my hair color changes a lot.  I couldn’t remember what color it was when I met him and I wanted him to recognize me.

I told Pat how I thought it was cool to get mail from an inmate!

I talked about his theories on freedom and incarceration.

“Your life is what you make it and if you philosophically break it down, everyone is confined and limited in some aspect.”

Ok technically he’s right about that…


“I can’t drive-thru Jack in the Box to get a double bacon cheeseburger; yet at the same time, you can’t fly to the moon to get some cheese.”

I think he’s pushing it a little on that one, but I get his point.

I still told him that I wouldn’t trade my freedoms for his.
I CAN drive to Albertsons to get cheese.

I mentioned his crazy neat printing.  I asked if it was always that nice.  He said his penmanship had been pretty good, but he’s improved it over the past 4 years.

He’d asked me why I wrote to him in the first place…

I told him it was because I found him interesting (not a lie…  I wasn’t quite ready to tell him that I considered him a writing topic.)

I told him that I’d talked about him to some of my friends and that we are all impressed with his general attitude about his life, trying to help others and making the most of his situation behind bars.

I rambled on about Orange is the New Black again.

My second letter was a bit longer than my first.  I felt more comfortable this time. Since he’d written me back so quickly, I knew for sure that he wanted to correspond with me.  I mean yeah, I probably could have figured that considering his situation,  he’d be grateful for anything to pass time (he is), but I wasn’t sure.

In Pat’s first letter to me, he’d said “If there’s anything you may want to know about me… Don’t be shy.”  

Ummm yeah, I want to know stuff about you!

Did you kill those two people??

Did you cut off that man’s head???

I didn’t ask those questions…

Not yet, anyway.  After all, I didn’t expect him to send me a written confession.

Actually, I wonder if the police do have a written confession from him.  Everything I’ve read said he confessed to both murders when he was first brought in to be questioned about the Vet’s ATM card.

The police claimed he had been Mirandized (told legal rights; ie: the “you have the right to remain silent” speech) before he confessed.  I just don’t know if they have actual proof of his confession or not.

If it’s not on paper and it wasn’t recorded, it seems kind of challenging to prove.

First Questions For Pat 

 

The rest of my letter had a lot of questions (I didn’t number them in the letter though):

 

  1. So what drug were you using? I’m assuming your financial problems were probably related to your addiction as well?  How was it in prison when you had to go cold turkey?
  2.  Do you like your lawyer? I’m not going to ask you anything about the actual case. I know you can’t talk about that. I’m just curious if you are happy with the lawyer that you been given.
  3. What else do you do with your time?
  4. You mentioned trying to get reading supplies.  Is the selection available pretty dismal?
  5. Have you ever felt like you weren’t safe in there?
  6. You mentioned inmates and their quest to find God.  Are you religious?
  7. Do you get a lot of visitors?

Oh yeah, that’s right… I was putting out feelers to see if I could visit him.

I have, by the way.

Five times so far!

My First Mail From Jail

February 2015

(Post Four)

When I got a letter back (dated August 31, 2014), I was giddy with excitement.  Just seeing the red “Inmate Correspondence” stamp on the front of the envelope got me all a-twitter.

The second thing I noticed was the incredibly neat printing on the address.  In pencil.

Inside was a three page letter on two sheets of yellow legal-sized paper (the first page with both sides filled) written completely in pencil in that super-neat printing.

Pat’s First Letter From Jail To Me

He began by apologizing to me.

I didn’t expect that.  I didn’t think he owed me an apology, but I think he has a lot of general guilt about any trouble he caused to anyone when he was arrested.

The truth is: that poor little theatre was on its last legs financially and I’m pretty sure that the publicity from his story did not hurt us at all (“if it bleeds it leads”).

Nonetheless, I thought it was a nice gesture on his part, assuming it was genuine and not just “the right thing to say.”

He thanked me for writing to him and, logically, asked me why I did.

He talked about how much he had loved acting in plays and how it was easier pretending to be someone else rather than being himself.  This was right after Robin Williams had killed himself, and Pat mentioned that he’d always been a big fan.

He talked about depression and suicide attempts (both considered and actualized: Pat tried to kill himself soon after his arrest and ended up in a coma).

He wrote about his fiancé.   Now, she was his ex-fiancé.

She had been his only friend and his life had revolved around her.  He was devastated when, after he’d been in jail for three months, she cut off all communication with him.

Truth be told, I wasn’t exactly surprised that she’d “dumped” him, considering the situation.

It wasn’t just that he was being charged with murdering two people. She actually ended up getting arrested herself as an accessory after the fact. She’s out on bail and is also “awaiting trial.”

Did I mention that she was on Dr. Phil?

Pat talked about life and freedom and lack of freedom, and making a difference, and doing what you can to make things better no matter your circumstances. He’d just helped his “celly” pass the GED.

He talked about God.  He asked me to not characterize him by the crimes that put him there, but by the man he is today.  He hopes I can see that he is not an evil man.

He went on to tell me that he’d been using a lot of drugs at that time in his life  (when he was doing the play at my theatre and getting arrested for double murder).  He abashedly admitted it was a very “foggy” time for him, and that he wasn’t sure if he remembered me, but a picture would help refresh his memory…

I immediately went looking for pictures of me where I look cute.

Duh..!