I haven’t posted for a while. I’ve been going though a bit of an existential crisis, you might say.
I wrote my first letter to “Pat” in August of 2014. I started this bog about 5 months later. I still haven’t told him that it exists.I am going to, though.
When I began writing to this man who is in jail, I had one goal in mind. I saw him only as a crime and I saw myself as the next Truman Capote. (Side Note: Yes, I’m totally aware that there have been a gazillion true crime books published since In Cold Blood came out in 1966, but Truman Capote is cool.)
By the time I started actually posting in this blog, though, he’d already become more than that. Pat isn’t just a topic. He’s my friend.
There are probably tons of people who would think that I’m “nucking futz” for calling an accused murderer my friend. I wonder about it myself, so I don’t blame them.
The thing is, they don’t know Pat.
I think I do.
I sure as hell hope I do.
I really want to believe I do.
Because this all became very real on Friday when I had coffee with a Dateline NBC producer to talk about Pat!
9 thoughts on “Existential Crisis”
Hi! What are you going to do now that Daniel’s been found guilty?? Any new criminals to reach out to or trials to focus on?
I still have way too much to write about Daniel and his case. No matter what, I’m still going to be friends with him. I’m not looking for any other topics right now. Thank you for commenting.
Can you set up some kind of ToC or navigation? The only thing I can do is hit the START AT the BEGINNING link, so I always lose my place and end up reading large chunks out of order.
And, I should apologize for a less than nice reply i drummed up in response
to another readers post.
Hi Douglas… Matt, the site manager, writing here. The Start at the Beginning link will feed the blog posts in chronological order, but if you want a more selective navigation, you can also use the monthly archives links. But for reading in order, the Start at the Beginning archive is the way to go… page by page, it will take you through from the beginning to the end. Thanks for a great question!
I really don’t think you do know him as well as you hope you do. He seems to be manipulating you hard.
Cool stuff. Fellow T.C. fanatic here. We’re not weird btw, common place these days. I realize this comment is wayyy after the fact. But. Your writing is an enjoyable style, btw, you make it easy. I don’t believe he was using drugs, my opinion if course. Most people, 99.9% of the ppo., my estimate, would not cut off someone’s head even if we were on drugs. Mho, he’s a psycopath. No one obviously knows what other things he’s done in his lifetime, nor would we want to. I’ve yet to read any interviews or comments from his family, I find that odd. Maybe these are out there, I’m just not aware of them. And if his family had not spoken out then it’s pretty obvious they have history tgey dont want revealed. I mean, have his parents even acknowledged the gravity or expressed convern or heaven forbid, love. Y.t.
My comment is simple and to the point you need a better friend and a real life
this guy is Guilty by his own admission and you remaining friends with him and writing his story makes you guilty of insensitivity to his victims. Think about it. Is that how you want to be remembered
Jeezus. You think you know him? Oh, he’ll get off on hearing that. You know why he wants you to be honest with him? So he can use what he knows about you to manipulate you. Good grief, you’re no true crime fan, you’re a fan girl. A fan girl of a sociopathic, cold blooded killer. And it is disgusting. You keep on with the “he’s my friend and will always be my friend” mindset. He will tear you to pieces. He is nobody’s friend. If he thought that you had money he could get, he would have killed you and not blinked an eye. He’d have went home and slept like a baby. I’m done reading this blog. I can’t stomach any more of your crushing on him.
I’m not sure that I believe this guy was a heroin addict. He was definitely a broke ass and broke asses don’t last long in the dope game. The day he killed Sam and brought home the $400 and gave it to Chris, for instance. Any dope addict worth his salt brings back $300 and grabs a couple bundles. No way do you give the guy your whole $400. Facts man.