Addressing Comments

A lot of new people have found this blog and Facebook page since the recent airing of the Dateline episode about the murders of Sam Herr and Julie Kibuishi. I can’t deny that I really appreciate having more readers. It lets me know there are others out there who are intrigued by this story and want to understand why these tragic events came about.

They want to know, just as I did, why Daniel Wozniak committed murder. And I believe that some of them did not buy the easy answer of “he’s a sociopath.” I’m not saying that sociopathic behavior isn’t a factor, but on its own, it’s too simplistic a reason. It’s nice to know that others are just as curious and inquisitive as I am.

However, along with the new readers came a lot more comments. And believe it or not, I appreciate that, too. Yes, even the negative comments. I welcome an exchange of ideas.

But comments that just bash me or enthuse that Daniel “should fry” probably won’t stay up long. Comments that do not add anything to the discussion get deleted by my editor on Facebook and are not approved on the blog. It’s my blog… my Facebook page… my decision. I’m sorry if people don’t like that.

I would like to reply to every comment, but I don’t always have the time. So I’m writing this in hopes that I can answer some questions and sort of re-state my reasons for writing this blog in the first place.

Why His Friend?

It kind of surprised me how many people were upset merely because I am friends with Daniel. Many commentors said that he doesn’t “deserve” to have a friend.

I actually get why people would feel that way, but I don’t agree with them. We’re all entitled to our opinions, as we are also entitled to our own experiences and how we deal with them. I like to think that most people are redeemable.

I also have seen a side to Daniel that the majority of people don’t see… and don’t want to see. That’s fair. I hadn’t planned on seeing it originally. I had plenty of preconceived ideas about him, but I kept an open mind.

Now, I am his friend. But I do understand how people are unable to look past his horrible actions and still see the human being. I have been able to separate the man from his actions, and I’m sharing what I learn as I go. I know I’m not the only person to find this idea interesting.

Hitler? Really?

Also, by the way, it’s a silly argument to compare Daniel to Hitler and then complain about someone writing a book about him. Seriously? Do you know how many books have been written about Hitler? I don’t have an exact number, but there are lots.

Some people say they are worried about me and my family. That is kind of you, but unnecessary. Yes, I am Daniel’s friend, but make no mistake; this doesn’t mean that I think, “he is innocent.” I have never said that. Actually, neither has Daniel.

I have also made it clear that nothing I write is an attempt to convince anyone that Daniel deserves to walk free. I’m not trying to convince readers of anything. I’m just sharing my opinions. Are you are curious about what I have to say? Then read what I write. If you aren’t, don’t. It’s not complicated.

Oh, and my kids are doing great by the way. They have good lives. They get lots of love and attention. They are smart and happy. I’m a great mom. I just happen to be one who is a writer and a creative artist. Those two things need not be mutually exclusive.

Why Daniel’s Friend Now?

Some of the commentors are also upset that I was not Daniel’s friend before the murders took place. All things considered, that’s a strange thing to get upset about, don’t you think? In my blog, I’ve said from the beginning that Daniel and I had not been friends before May 2010. We had only spoken briefly a couple of times at the Hunger Artists Theatre.

When I started writing to Daniel, it was out of pure curiosity and interest in true crime. It was the fact that I’d “met the guy” that made me decide to give it a go and send him a letter. I thought maybe I could write a true crime book.

I know that a number of people are planning books about this crime; are people also concerned as to their interaction with Daniel before they decided to write about him? That I thought it would be interesting to see if I could actually have a discussion with “the murderer himself” does not hinge on my prior relationship with him, as it would not for any other journalist or writer who would want to sit down and talk to him.

When this whole creative writing project began, my blog was called “murder musings” only. It didn’t mention Daniel’s name, it didn’t mention the victims’ names, and it didn’t mention my name. At that point, I figured that I could write a book about him whether he ever wrote back to me or not.

Now I think I have a different book/play to write. I haven’t completely figured it out yet, so the blog is my jumping off point.


Becoming Daniel Wozniak’s “bestie” was not anything I’d envisioned, but now I am one of his closest friends. He often points out to me that, unlike many friends who are no longer in his life, I am capable of seeing the person beyond the deed.

Why am I able to do that?

Maybe it’s because I wasn’t his friend beforehand. I had no sense of personal betrayal.  I knew what I was walking into. Daniel has made other close friends in the past five years. Most of them are in jail, but don’t judge them for that.

I would also like to reassure those who are so worried about my quality of friendship, that I have been able continue and grow my friendships with those in my “real-life” world. People who know me see no reason to fear that I’m being used or manipulated. My closest friends are not behind bars. I’m a regular person with regular every-day relationships.

Anonymity and “Fame”

As far as me not using my own name on the blog… well, if someone really wants to figure out who I am, I’m sure they’ll be able to do it. It’s funny how some people say that I am trying to get my “15 minutes of fame out of the situation,” and others complain that I don’t use my name. My husband said if I start using my name on the blog now, it will seem like I am trying to get famous. So… rock and a hard place, you know?

Maybe Not For Everyone… and That’s Okay

For those commentors who personally knew Sam or Julie, you have my sincere condolences. I know both of them were greatly loved, and their losses have caused irreparable pain to many. Your anger toward Daniel Wozniak is warranted. This blog might be too difficult to accept for someone so close to the victims.

I am going to continue writing it, though. Many people will be writing about Daniel and this crime. Sadly, Julie, Sam and Rachel will all be forever linked to Daniel and the horrific crimes.

What About Rachel Buffett?

Speaking of Rachel Buffett: there have been plenty of comments left about her. People have very differing opinions after seeing her interview on Dateline.

I will be honest; I lean toward the side that does not entirely believe Rachel’s story of having no involvement in the murders. My opinion is formed on what I heard in court, from studying the case, and from various conversations I’ve had with people.

BUT, I don’t actually know Rachel Buffett, and I want to keep a completely open mind. Maybe my mind would be changed if I got to know her. She does have many supporters who believe she is completely innocent and even a victim herself in this case. Who knows what information will come out during her trial. Rachel could be completely exonerated. But like with Daniel’s case, it is something that needs to be tried in court.

Not Done By A Long Shot

Hopefully that clears up questions anyone had. Your comments really are appreciated. I hope you continue to read the blog. There is a long road ahead for Daniel, and I’m planning to write about it.