That Surprised Me

Author’s Note: Much of what I write about on this site is anecdotal information related to me by Daniel Wozniak and other sources. In many cases, this information is not verifiable, and should not necessarily be taken as fact.

I recently had dinner with a couple of close friends who have been supportive of my blog.  They asked what was new and bizarre in my world and I told them that Steve Herr, the father of victim Sam Herr, had commented on the blog’s Facebook page.

They both gasped.  Actual simultaneous gasps.  Then they jumped on their phones so they could read the exchange.

Between bites of my vegan truffle burger, I pointed out that Steve Herr was very cordial in his postings. Unlike some previous commenters, he did not personally attack me for being friends with Daniel.

If I were asked to come up with an adjective to describe Steve Herr’s tone, it would be “frustrated.”

I’d imagined that eventually there would be some sort of contact between me and the victims’ families, and I won’t lie to you, the prospect of it made me very nervous.

I’m not ashamed of my friendship with Daniel Wozniak, but I understand that most people believe he is a vicious killer. Certainly no one has the right to feel that way more than the loved ones of Sam Herr and Julie Kibuishi.

So, if Steve Herr had started throwing names and accusations toward me, no one could blame him.

He didn’t.

These two families have suffered unimaginable grief over the murders of their children, but to make matters worse, they have been waiting more than 5 years for some kind of justice and closure.  There seems to be no end in sight.

Let me take my friendship with Daniel out of the equation here for a moment…

  • If my child had been brutally murdered…
  • If someone had confessed to the murder…
  • If that person then pleaded “not guilty” and 5 years later, he still hadn’t been to trial…
  • If the proceedings were being held up because the defense attorney was throwing around a bunch of legal mumbo-jumbo that seemed like it had NO relevance to my child’s murder case…

Well, I’m pretty sure I’d be losing it!  I think I would despise the accused killer and want nothing more than to see him suffer for what he did to my family.  Also, I’d be pretty pissed off is someone was publicly announcing a friendship with him.

But Steve Herr had only a request for me:

Ask Dan one question; Did he murder Sam and Julie? Then, post his answer. Everything you have posted is conjecture, which is your right. However, just ask him that one question. His response, whatever he says, should make great reading!”

I have asked tough questions,  and I will continue to ask without expecting answers… at least not necessarily true answers.  I’ve never bothered to go into much detail about Daniel’s responses, because they are purposefully vague and contradictory.  He has definitely learned his way around legalese in the past five years, and he’s a little cocky about it too.

Nonetheless, I didn’t want Steve Herr (or anyone else for that matter) to think that I don’t care about the truth.  I do.  I just don’t know what it is.  Conjecture is all I have.

I tried my best to reply to his question, and I gave my opinion based on what Daniel has and hasn’t told me.  I suggested that maybe Daniel didn’t murder Sam and Julie.  It’s not surprising Steve Herr wrote back that Daniel is lying to me.

I never forget that Daniel might lie to me about the case.  From the beginning, I kind of assumed he would, or at least that he’d keep the truth from me.

Accused murderers get interviewed all the time.  When some guy in an orange jumpsuit tells Dateline‘s Keith Morrison that he’s never hurt a fly – well, I think maybe we all listen with a bit of skepticism.

Daniel and I talked on the phone a couple of days later, and I was completely dumbfounded when he told me that Steve Herr had gone to the judge with the accusation that important information about the case was being shared with me, a person with a public forum.

That surprised me.

Update: Mr. Herr has said that he did not go to the judge with this accusation and that he’s never mentioned this blog. I want to remind everyone, as I wrote, the above paragraphs refer to a conversation I had with Daniel, and must be considered anecdotal. I apologize for any confusion or upset this may have caused, and urge readers to consider the source and the context of everything they read on this site, particularly information provided by Daniel and other principles in this case. — murderermusings

We live in a world where almost anyone can have a public forum at the push of a button.

I spend a lot of time thinking and re-thinking about everything I write in this blog.  I don’t take it lightly that there are real human beings behind this story and they are in pain.  I’ve worried – a lot – about having what I write be misinterpreted.

So what to do?  I do my best.

I do my best to be honest and clear.  I do my best to be thoughtful and considerate. I do my best to not judge without facts, and to interpret what I am given.  I do my best to engage and entertain the reader.

I have my editor and my writer friends read over all my posts before they get published. Sometimes one of them might even suggest a title for the post that I think is clever and attention grabbing – later to learn that it just caused more courtroom drama.

It turns out that the title  of my post, “This Is How Daniel Bought Me Lunch,” may have been misunderstood.

It was a joke.  I’m going to add humor to my posts, but I don’t mean to be disrespectful.

I can unequivocally state that Daniel did not arrange for the producer of 20/20 to buy me a $7.00 mini pizza and an iced tea.  He has no control over what I write on my blog, and he is not trying to bribe me with the lunch special at CPK.

That was another tidbit that was brought up in court last Friday.  I’m glad I was out of town visiting family during that one.  I’m not sure how I would have reacted if I’d been there.  I’m guessing I would just sink down into the wooden bench and try to keep a blank expression on my face.

Since I wasn’t there, everything I know about the blog being mentioned in court was told to me by Daniel.

There was a comment on the Facebook page hinting that telling me this information was Daniel’s way of flirting with me. (Um, it totally is, btw — The Editor Who Suggested That Troublesome Title)

The idea of using, “Hey beautiful, I know I’m an accused murderer and I might get the death penalty, but since I got your blog mentioned in court, well I thought that might win you over,” made my stomach hurt with laughter. In my head, I heard the words in the voice of Jemaine Clement from Flight of the Conchords, especially as heard in the song “Business Time.”

I’m not going to pretend that I’m writing as a journalist.  I’m friends with Daniel.

That does not negate my ability to believe that he may be guilty… of everything.

I do occasionally question and play devil’s advocate when aspects of the case make no sense to me. That doesn’t mean I’m working toward any personal end-game as far as how this all plays out.

I’m just sharing my opinions and thoughts, and discussing what it is like to be friends with the man at the center of this storm.

What I write often shows the human side of Daniel. I am sorry if that is hurtful for some. I’m simply trying to share my experiences.

Human beings are complicated.  That’s just how it is. It’s never black and white. If People can call him the “Grisly Groom,” and make him look like a terrifying monster, then why can’t a blogger write about his human side?

That’s what the next post will be all about: Showing the side of Daniel that I get to see.  I’ll share some of favorite “Danielisms” with you.

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